How do you define a family? One witty person said it stood for (F)ather (A)nd (M)other + (I) (L)ove (Y)ou. However you define it, your family is like a plant. It grows and blossoms, but remember, it also needs to be watered and taken care of. Here's how to cultivate those ties:
LEARN TO LISTEN
How often do you open your mouth before using your ears? Too many times, many of us rush in with our own opinions and advice before we really understand the situation. Learning to listen before speaking out or reacting not only avoids negative situations, but it also builds discipline, self-mastery, and most of all, respect towards others.
BE POSITIVE
Do you criticize? Do you complain? Do you love to gossip? Then you deserve to be treated the same way by your loved ones. If you hear a strange sound coming from the kitchen and later see your child before a broken plate, what would say? "Why did you break that plate?!" or "What happened, son?" Understand first before judging. Replace negative habits with positive ones. Positive people are like magnets; they immediately attract the best kind of people.
BE HUMBLE
Those who have long-lasting relationships are usually those who are humble enough to realize that no one is perfect. They're the kind of family members who are patient and understanding, having the virtue of making allowances for others' mistakes.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
Laugh when you feel like laughing. Laugh when you make a mistake. Laugh when you feel tension building up. You will hardly develop closeness with your loved ones if you maintain a dour, pessimistic outlook in life. Nothing feels better than being surrounded by people who can make you feel good, right?
BE BOTH A RECEIVER AND A GIVER
To receive something with a grateful heart enhances your self-worth. It elevates you to a give-and-take level, the ideal level on which a real relationship can be maintained. Learn to give generously, with no reservations or conditions attached. If you think that your spouse needs some help, then help and don't expect anything in return except his or her companionship. You'll be surprised at what you'll get in return.
PRIORITIZE FAMILY TIME OVER OTHER CONCERNS
Turn off the TV and spend more time reading books with your children. It's a great way to build children's reading skills and a chance to cuddle close when you're at home, don't you think? Take time out to be with your parents by going out with them or simply being with them at home. It's great to be with friends over the weekend, but always make sure you have more than adequate time for your family. Family get-togethers can be fun, fun, fun!
NEVER QUANTIFY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Do you measure your love for your family members by counting the things you have done for them and comparing those with what they have done for you? Uh-oh... Avoid making a mental list of what you've given and how many times you've done something for your loved ones. Remember, family closeness isn't a popularity game or a tally board. Follow this simple advice: focus more on how you get along instead of what you get.
LEARN TO HANDLE CRITICISM
When a family member says or does something that makes your feel unnerved, do respond and don't react. Criticism is an undeniable part of life. There's negative criticism, but there's also positive criticism, which is actually constructive. Learn to distinguish between the two.
FIND UNIQUE WAYS OF ENRICHING YOUR FAMILY TIES
Try doing different things that can help you become closer to your family so that you don't get bored with the familiar or usual stuff. For instance, if you always text or call your parents, why not send them a daily quote or inspirational message? If you regularly bring your children to the mall on weekends, how about scheduling a family-style field trip where all of you get to explore a new place like a museum or a library?
HAVE A ONCE-A-WEEK GOAL
Regular contact is key to building closer family bonds, especially for grandparents who may not live near their grandchildren. You need at least one visit, phone call, e-mail, or postcard a week. Share things that are happening in your life, and ask lots of questions about things your grandchildren are interested in.
EVERYBODY DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE
Let's say you do everything to make your loved one happy - giving kisses, calling him or her every day and bringing home treats. If he doesn't reciprocate the warmth, what do you do? Do you give up and start building a wall between the two of you? You can always find a reason to justify your emotions, but you can also find a bigger reason to let go of it. Put the relationship first before the emotion. Effort always has its reward.
STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LOVED ONES AS PERFECT AS THEY CAN BE, JUST ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE AND WHO THEY ARE TRYING TO BE
I guess that says it all, doesn't it?