According to communications scholars Gerald Miller and Mark Steinberg, there are three basic types of interpersonal conflict or reasons people find one another difficult:
1. Pseudo conflict - people actually agree with each other but, due to misunderstandings, they appear to each other to be disagreeing.
2. Simple conflict - people genuinely disagree over which course of action to take.
3. Ego conflict - people believe they are being personally attacked.
In dealing with all types of interpersonal conflict:
(a) Ask the people involved to clarify their perceptions.
(b) Let them express their grievances.
(c) Forbid personal attacks.
(d) Establish a supportive rather than defensive climate.
(e) Discourage people from "battling it out" or working it out on their own.
(f) Be sure the issues are clear to everyone involved.
(g) Remain calm and unemotional.
(h) Take notes on what the person says he wants and expects, and date your notes.
SOURCE: Between People by Gerald Miller and Mark Steinberg (Science Research Associates, 1975).