In their book The Pragmatics of Human Communication, Paul Watzlawick, Janet Beavin, and Don Jackson wrote, "One cannot not communicate." Their point is powerful: People above, below, and all around you in the organization are paying attention when you least expect them to and don't seem to be paying attention when you most want them to. They are paying attention to the words you choose not to speak. They see what you do and are aware of what you could have done but chose not to do. They note your attitude and the resonance or dissonance your attitude has relative to your words and actions.
When you're considering what makes people difficult and how to deal with them, think about what they are communicating - even when they think they are not communicating. Difficult people are sending you an endless stream of clues. Your challenge is to read them properly. Consider which causes the most difficulty: expectations people have of you or expectations you have of other people? It should be evident if you're paying attention to the communication that's never not happening.
SOURCE: The Pragmatics of Human Communication by Paul Watzlawick et a. (W. W. Norton, 1967).