The best advice for leaders, according to author and psychologist Henry Cloud, is his friend's policy: "I go hard on the issue and soft on the person." In other words, when you need to confront a staff member, bring to the table both your high work expectations and standards and a sympathetic ear. Focus on what you want to get out of the confrontation. You should approach it as an opportunity to problem solving. As Dr. Cloud explains: "To solve the problem, make the relationship stronger, help the person develop and empower the development."
SOURCE: Integrity by Henry Cloud (Collins, 2006).