Try thinking of the pursuit of happiness as a pursuit of power, personal power. The power to think good thoughts. The power to say good words. And the power to do the rights things that can lead to a great future. This is self-empowerment - you empower yourself to feel really good about who you are.
This means realizing your own power. Each person can become tremendously powerful and direct their life any way they want through the power of their own thoughts. And this comes from realizing that you are capable of creating exactly what you want in your life because you are in charge of your thoughts, and it is your thoughts that create your life around you.
The key to self-empowerment is learning to focus your thoughts on what you want. By learning how thought processes work, you will be able to use them to your advantage, learn how to feel really good about who you are, and create the things in your life that you want.
The following are the four powerful steps leading to inner happiness:
1. BUILD CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS
Always focus on somebody to love. You may have the money, you may have good health, you may have a nice car or a fancy house. But just having these does not guarantee happiness if you do not have warm, caring and loving relationships. This covers the whole spectrum of developing closeness with others: parents, spouses, siblings, children, relatives, friends, classmates, workmates, just about everybody. Of course, there are different levels of closeness that you must maintain with each group, and you must also have time for yourself, you must also live for others. Life, after all, is basically a network of interconnecting relationships.
Hidden in the tragedy of the Princess of Wales' separation from Prince Charles and her eventual death is the tremendously intimate relationship she had with her two sons, Prince William and Prince Harry. Diana was a very loving mother, loving her children more than anything else. "They are my life," she would tell others. It was part of the royal code not to show such personal affection with one's children, but Diana ignored it. She personally took both William and Harry to school, played with them and provided comfort when they were down.
2. LIVE TOWARDS SOMETHING MORE MEANINGFUL
If you're a parent, this means working not just to make sure the kids are well-fed or secure, but also to help your children find satisfaction and joy in life. If you want to become rich, don't make material comforts your only goal. Instead, become rich to help others and to inspire them. Our purposes and desires in life should go beyond our common wants and needs. We should go for more noble aspirations and ideals.
Even if you think you're already committed to some grand goal or desire, it's good to think and think again. In 1928, a young Yugoslavian lady named Agnes Bojaxhiu felt she could find purpose and meaning in the spiritual life. She entered an order and was assigned to teach schoolchildren in India. Years later, Agnes came across a neglected, dying woman and was so saddened by the sight that she stayed with the woman until the latter passed away.
Transformed by the experience, Agnes left the classroom, gathered a few like-minded women, and set up hospices and shelters for the homeless and the dying. Eventually, her organized followers grew and now number over 3,000, helping other people in over 100 countries. Her actions undoubtedly set off a chain-reaction of service around the world up to this day. And you know who she is: Mother Theresa.
3. ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO THE BEST
A German Jew by the name of Moshe Silber was so loyal to his local rabbi that during an argument with another rabbi, the latter got so exasperated that he told Moshe, "You will die with your tallit katan on!" (Tallit katan was the fringed garment Jews wore under their shirts.)
Eventually, Moshe was deported to Auschwitz. But despite her constant specter of death, Moshe knew he would survive. Why? Because he believed wholeheartedly what the rabbi had said - at that time he had no tallit katan on. Years later and wearing again his tallit katan, Moshe Silber regale visitors at his house in New Jersey with stories about how those words had given him the strength to survive the horrors of the hellish concentration camp.
Focus on the future by looking forward to happy and joyful tomorrow. This not only gets you through times of deep crisis, suffering and tragedy, but this also gives you the determination and courage to work out your goals and aspirations. Even in the darkest night, always remember that sunrise is just a few hours away.
4. LAUGH AT YOUR PROBLEMS - AND LAUGH WITH OTHERS, TOO!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. The title of that section in Reader's Digest couldn't have stated it better. Yes, laughter is indeed the best medicine. Not only does humor help you feel happy and optimistic, it also boosts your physical helth. Medical studies indicate that laughter boosts levels of endorphins, the body's natural painkiller, and suppresses levels of epinephrine, the stress hormone.
Laughter creates a mood within which the other positive emotions can be put to work. And having a sense of humor not only benefits you but also those around you. If you are a parent, one of the best gifts you can give your child is your willingness to be playful and to laugh with him. If you're too serious and straightforward, the child picks up such an attitude.
A 92-year-old public speaker was telling his listeners about his health in an rhythmically interesting way: "I appreciate and am mindful of the pacemaker that I have for my heart which comes in quite handy. And I have a remodeled hip and a renovated knee that I consider just dandy. My updated hearing aid and special glasses are quite a find, But, oh, how I miss my mind." The entire assembly roared with laughter. The speaker lived for a couple more years and died happy.